*I have named the narrator Anthony for story convenience*
After running for what seemed like a mile (this place is HUGE), I stop at the Greeting Cards and slump over. What... the.. hell. Was that actually a zombie? Why did I sign up for this stupid shift? What's Burt doing right now? So many questions race through my mind as I try to comprehend the situation. I have never been good under stress and this was pushing my limits as far as they could go. I take a deep breath and think about everything I saw. The zombie looked somewhat like a human but had many deformities over its grayish body. That was gross so I get that image out of my head as quickly as possible.
I slow my mind down and think about what my next course of action should be. Stay here and risk being found and having my brains eaten? Try to escape the store where there might be even more zombies outside? Find Burt so I don't die alone? None of those seem any good, especially the Burt one knowing how much a douche-bag he is. I take a look up and see a sign which says "Guns sold here." This could be it, this is how I protect myself. I get up and walk my way over to the Firearms section and take a look around. 9 millimeter, pump-action, so many words with no meaning attached in my mind. I had never shot a gun before, I had no idea what I was doing. But, something is better than nothing, right? So, I reach into my pocket and grab the keys to the display. I try them in the lock. It doesn't work. Huh, I say and try another. It doesn't work. I only got one more key. It doesn't work. I start to panic. I've failed. I'm going to get my brains eaten. I bang on the glass with all my force, but it doesn't break. Of course, this was out of frustration, my skinny arms couldn't break it. I look around, trying to find anything I could use to break the glass but all I find is a comm speaker. In one last attempt, I try to slide the door open in my last hope for survival. There is some resistance to start, but it eventually slides all the way open. It was never unlocked the whole time. Typical WorldMart, workers leaving the displays unlocked all the time.
I look at all the guns in the case. Shotguns, hand cannons, rifles, so many to choose from. I started to think about all the survival-zombie TV shows I've watched and what the best weapon to choose would be. I remember shotguns being good because they shoot out a lot of pellets, so I try to pick one up. I lift it enough to get it off the rack but it falls straight to the floor. I guess that's not an option. I see a hand cannon, which looked a lot lighter, so I pick it up. Success. It still feels heavy, but at least I can carry it. I grab the shells from behind the counter and try to load them, fumbling as I try to do so. Eventually, the revolving chamber pops out and I load it. As I get ready to go, I realize that I left Anthony with the zombie. I rush to the comm speaker and yell, "I'm in Firearms, stay low."
As I start to drift away to help him, I hear Anthony's voice over the speaker say, "She's not going to hurt us." She?? It has a gender and how has it not eaten out Anthony's brains by now?
"What are you talking about. She's going to eat us. She's going to eat our brains."
"No, I don't think so. That's not what she's doing here."
"Then what is she doing here?" He says, "Umm, I think she's getting ready for a date... Huh?"
"What?"
"Gotta go."
Hearing the sudden worry in his voice, I ask, "What's happening?"
"Our friend just discovered House of the Dead Two"
I hang up and rush over to Anthony hoping that he's OK. I have the upper hand now that I have a gun, I can shoot it right in the face. I get to the aisle and march up, holding my hand cannon with both hands. It's kind of wobbly, but I believe I won't miss. However, the zombie just looked me straight in the eyes, unblinking, no emotion. It looked like it wanted me to kill it. I hesitated, not knowing what to do. It obviously didn't want to eat my brains. Anthony puts his hand on the gun and forces me to lower it away from the zombie. I look at the video game demo that's playing, zombie heads exploding and violence everywhere. I took another look at the zombie, dressed in nice clothes, looking like she really was trying to go out on a date. "She," it looked like an actual woman now. It clicked. Maybe she isn't a mindless drone, and after seeing the demo where zombies heads are blown off he own self-worth is put into question. Maybe my fear was irrational, it was only based on appearance. I immediately thought of an over-used cliche that said, "Don't judge a book by its cover," which I obviously did. Maybe there was an actual "person" under the guise of a zombie and I just personally hurt its feelings by trying to shoot her with a gun. I neglected to truly see what she was, and she was the worse off for it. I totally ruined her night.
I took a look at Anthony and, with a newfound resolve, finally "saw" him for what he was. He was caring, even for so-called zombies, and was always nice to me during our nights at WorldMart. It was worth a chance, maybe hanging out with him a little more. He was kinda-handsome too, potentially we could date. Then he asks me, "Would you like to go see a movie on Thursday?" You know what happens next.
I really enjoyed the contrast of how the narrator sees the Zombie in the original and how you imagine Janice's internal conflict with the zombie. It was fast paced and I love how she just goes from one thought to the next and the way she tries to analyze the situation. One thing though, in order to stick more to the text, instead of saying "the Firearms section", you can just say Firearms. Other than that, it was fun to read and I loved seeing how Janice was changed at the end of the situation with her realizing that maybe there was more to the zombie.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed seeing the story through Janine's perspective. I thought that having Janine mutually attracted to the narrator emphasizes how the narrator is enslaved by his own lack of courage and metaphorical "zombified" state. I also found it interesting to see Janine's development in this story as she reconsiders her opinions about the zombie woman, which is generally downplayed in the original story.
ReplyDeleteI like the fear and uncertainty that you show in Janine, versus the way the Anthony calmly approaches the zombie. I really liked the part where Janine is weighing her options on whether to hide or run or kill the zombie.
ReplyDeleteI really like the way you have Janine learn her lesson at the end. It puts a very touching spin on the story, and provides a deeper insight into the character of Janine. Also, your ending has more closure than the original in my opinion. The original story was kind of drab at the ending, while this one has feels.
DeleteGreat job on constructing this. I really like the dynamic between Janine and Anthony as well as how differently Janine views the Zombie versus the original reaction to it. Also, her conflict of whether or not to kill the Zombie was well drawn out. It kept me interested and wanting more at the end. Good work.
ReplyDeleteI like your version of the story because it adds depth to Janine's character. In the original story, we only see Janine from narrator's point of view. The narrator simply states what Janine does, without offering any explanation of what she could be thinking or what her reasoning is. In your story, Janine is made to see more human, as she is shown to emotions that drive her to make the decisions she makes. Initially Janine is afraid of the zombie because she believes her to be a threat and confused by the narrator's lack of fear. Having Janine eventually notice the human traits and emotions in the zombie suggests character growth. Overall, I think your story allowed me to sympathize with Janine a little more than the original.
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting to see how the zombie is seen by different people, because in the story, there's really not a whole lot that we get to see of Janine, and the only perspective we got was that of Anthony. To be honest, I would realistically follow the same sort of mindset as Janine, because she has a more human reaction to seeing the zombie, and Anthony's reaction is much stranger than what I thought would happen. And seeing how she responds makes my feelings towards Janine change, as I'm able to sympathize with her more.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this story. You did a great job of rewriting the story from the Janine's point of view but still maintain the humorous and light hearted tone of the original story. Your story filled in the gaps, like when Janine disappeared, effectively, making it seem like good perspective but the same story.
ReplyDeleteI found this really interesting. You did a good job of portraying it in Janine's perspective, writing it in a way that fits with the tone of the original story. I like how we are able to see what she was thinking, which is something I was wondering when I read the actual story. It's nice to be able to see Janine's thought process.
ReplyDeleteThis was really enjoyable to read. "First Person Shooter" as a story didn't touch on the characters emotions as much and your perspective excelled at that. Janine's tone fits Charles Yu's view of her really well. I think it really brought Janine's character to life and connected with the original story well.
ReplyDeleteI thought that it was a good idea for you to write from Janine's point of view. In First Person Shooter I thought the narrators way of describing his crush on Janine as "consuming" was very creepy. I understand that it was to dit into the zombie parallels but it made me feel really hesitant. I think you did I good job of showing how Janine could be interested in the narrator as well.
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